Cycle #4 - 2nd shot - day 4

Here we are at our 4th and final cycle.  Yes it really is our last one.

Xtended has been officially drained. 

On Menopur again.  but He's fancied up the dosage. 150 on days 3-5-7  and 300 on days 4&6.  

So what that means is .......... 150 is 1ml of saline and 2 vials of menopur (pink lid).

300 is 1ml of saline and 4 vials of menopur.  

Well I am not sure if its possible, but I guess it is.  I had my second shot just over an hour ago and it was the double double.  I can already feel my left ovary saying hello!  

Old Blood

Here is my period, right on cue.
At least I know my body is working as it used to many years ago.  2 weeks after ovulation .......... only this time, unpleasant.  Not in the way that I am in pain.  Not at all in fact.  It started of brown, then to dark red now to a rich full red.  Its rather impressive really.  I ahd been bracing myself for the pain of last month, so this is ok.  However, I am drained.  So exhausted.  This is day 1
I can't help but think about that old blood that made its appearance first.  Why?  Why was it there?  Why was it left over?  It did bleed an Xtra long time last month.  Perhaps that's why this last time the egg hunt was so disappointing.  Maybe my body forced to stop bleeding because of the shots.  I am not sure I will google.
Even though google can give me emotional pain, it is good for the research.
Hot flashes are not around, all the new supplements I am taking must be working!  This makes me happy.  I am a hormonal mess.  Agitated.  Aggressive.  Now add exhausted.  I think i will stay home from work tomorrow.  Get some much needed rest.  Tonight I made a chilli lazy lasagna.  I need the kidney beans to replenish lost iron.

Blog On

So Many Supplements

Well since getting back on the Primrose bandwagon, those warm isitthetea flashes have subsided!  Thank Goodness.
That  is one thing I have learned since gliding into this hot flash thing.  If I don't want the warm blush to turn in to a hot Flash, i gotta arrest it right away!
I still shake my head wondering why the hell I stopped in the first place.  Frig!  My wierdness cost us this last cycle.  I know it did.  3 eggs, again.  Only this time, i dropped the ball and didn't take the oil.  Dumbass.
So now with one old egg, that took a long time to mature, we triggered and we will try it the old fashioned way.  Intercourse.
Doc has got me on another supplement now.  Fertil Q10.    Its as big as a frappin horse pill and I have to take 6 a day!  6!!  So those along with the calcium I take mid afternoon.  The primrose/milk thistle/E combo I am trying to take 3 times a day.  Maybe need to go back to 2.
 And the Omega 3 i take 2 a day, but not when I take the combo and now not when I take the Q10!  Q10 has to be taken on its own.  Great.  I am running out of times to take things on their own.
HOwever, the flashes have subsided so that is good.  Cuz those things is gross!  once they get hold of me, my night sweats are so bad my pillow is soaked when i get up in the AM.  The flashes while I am working isn't so great either.  So for now, i feel like I'm 40 again!  YaY!

NOOOOOOO!

THESE CAN'T BE HOT FLASHES!!!

NOT NOW?!!

Will they eff up what we are doing?  

it is oh so mild - could be the hot tea I am drinking - could be the fleece I am wearing - Fuck!  Better not be a hot flash.
I thought i was having one last friday - oh so mild.  So mild - but frig - if it is and I am still bleeding ......... I can feel my left ovary gettin' busy.  That is good.  Hopefully, the part of my body that is still a woman, will power thru, produce some lovely big healthy eggs, get fertilized on Monday and implant themselves in a juicy rich uterine lining.  Please, please ignore the hot flashes and hormonal imbalancing,  Implant, flourish, grow!
but first, please ovaries, do what you did last month and power out some eggs!
This is our last chance!  and hot flashes, if that's what you indeed are ..................

FUCK OFF!

Thank you

Evening Primrose

In all the hub-bub I stopped taking my evening primrose.  Why would I do that?  I am not sure.
2 in the morning - 2 at bed - keeps my estrogen up.  Do I blame our recent unsuccessful IUI on this?
Blame? No.  But do I think its insufficient use helped?  YUP.  I don't know why I stopped, so weird.  Kept up with the Folic, Calcium and C, but dropped the most important one to keep me functioning as a woman.  Well I am back on track!
Estrogen is key in helping to build a uterine lining.  Since my ovaries are not really into producing Estrogen anymore, I rely on Evening Primrose to help my body still function on the feminine side.  Thank You Meno-Pause.
Started a messy,  AF monday afternoon - so we call tuesday Feb 5th day one.  By yesterday I was in pain.  Lots of cramping.  Been a long time.  I start on the same dose of Menopur tomorrow, 7th!  then the egg hunt on friday the 15th.  Hopefully with the same results as last time.  Breasts are a tiny bit sore, but hardly noticeable.  I shed a few lbs too with this cycle!  Guess its been pent up for awhile.
I am cutting down my morning coffee intake so that  I will be weaned off completely by the end of the week.  Husband is taking his Folic and Omega in the morning and a special One-A-Day  formulated especially for men, with dinner.  Zinc and Selenium are extremely important for strong sperm.  This time when I have the IUI, and we are to copulate for those 2 days to increase our chances, he will get it up and do it!!!
DUH!  Frig i hate it when he gives me reasons to blame him for things!!
I don't care if he has to watch porn on the computer and fuck me, just fuck me, over and over and over again please for 2 days thank you!
This being our last go.  I do believe we have used our limit with insurance now.  So in 4 weeks i will either be anxiously beginning the 3 mnth wait for stroller shopping or anxiously waiting to move so that I can get a puppy.
STICKY BABY DUST PLEASE!

Hot Flash Friday???

Nooooooo

soemthing happened yesterday - its happening now.  Oh so mild.  Is it?  Is it just warm everywhere?  Is it the coffee?  Is it the allergies?

I am so sad

Smoke up my Vagina

the negative has entered into my brain.
What if nothing has happened.
So a test says positive right now.  Firstly its too soon.  Second, I still have that trigger shot in my bloodstream.  So what if i feel stuff.  I am building up to a big disappointment!!!  Big Fat False Positive!
I won't believe unless the dr tells me so.
For now, life gets out of limbo and goes on just as my oven is empty.
i will hold back and do my best not to test till next weekend .................