Is This It?

After making the decision to not grab hold of our opportunity in September.  Holding on to the hope that we will have another chance.  Another period.  After all the reading I did about how the 2nd or 3rd subsequent try with hormones gets results ....... October's period came and went. it was not much more than spotting here and then there and then nowhere.  I excitedly called the ovary doctor to let them know I was going to start on the new double dose and to schedule me for the ultrasound.  Day 3 came and it was very clear this was not a period.
Here I am 2 weeks later feeling regret that I didn't do it in September.  It was a good period.  It was a real period.  I chose that stupid course over this.
Will I ever get a real period again?
I am ignoring and pretending the hot flashes aren't happening.  I am taking my evening primrose, Vit E, Folic Acid and B complex faithfully.  I believe it to be helping.  If anything, it is helping my sex drive make an appearance.  Now maybe, if I could slip some of the concoction to my husband ...........
The walking I was doing has subsided due to rain.  But I am faithfully doing squats, side bends and core excercises every night.  I've got to find the waist that Ms. Pause has so gleefully been taking over.  The wieght gain is whatever.  I can't stress out over it.  Hormones are such a bitch. I have discovered since starting up on my squats and waist trimmers, the numbers on the scale have been inching up, yet I am getting tighter.  So I know its muscle.  Ms. Pause can take a lot away from me, but she can't take my muscle memory.  There was a time I was in fabulous shape.  Had amazing legs and a nice back, so if I can find all that, even if its under 2 inches of insulation, that will be fine.  Everything will sit higher and tighter.  We will wait and see if I eventually have another 'real' period and if not - at least I'll have a rock hard ass!