Again

my brother and his wife are pregnant again

she is 1 month

..........

twins VS. singletons

Elevated HcG Levels

For various reasons, doctors may monitor HcG (human chorionic gonadotropin) levels. HcG is a hormone detectable in pregnant women's blood or urine about 10 days post-conception; it increases at a rapid rate, peaking about 10 weeks into the pregnancy. Twins may produce an elevated level of HcG. However, the standard HcG level for twins also falls within the normal range for singletons.

Abnormal AFP Test Results

AFP (Alphafetoprotein) screening is a blood test performed on pregnant mothers during the second trimester. Also known as maternal serum screening or triple marker screen, it is used to identify increased risks of certain birth defects. A twin pregnancy can produce an usually high -- or "positive -- result.

Measuring Large for Gestational Age

Throughout the pregnancy, the doctor or midwife may measure the height of the uterine fundus (from the top of the pubic bone to the top of the uterus) as a way of indicating gestational age. A twin or multiple pregnancy may causes the mother's uterus to expand beyond the range of a single pregnancy. However, other factors may also increase the measurements.

Weight Gain

Just as a multiple pregnancy may cause a mother to measure large, it may also result in an increased weight gain. How much weight a woman gains can vary depending on her height, body type and how much she weighed pre-pregnancy. Increased or rapid weight gain more than likely reflects eating choices rather than twins; generally, mothers of twins only gain about 10 lbs. more than singleton mothers.

Excessive Morning Sickness

About 50% of pregnant women experience some amount of vomiting or nausea associated with their pregnancy. Moms of multiples certainly aren't exempt, but neither are they doomed to a double dose. Only about 15% of respondents in a poll on this site reported enhanced morning sickness symptoms as an indicator of their multiple pregnancies. Experiences vary widely -- some do, some don't.

Early/Frequent Fetal Movement

Feeling a baby -- or babies -- move inside the womb is one of the most thrilling aspects of pregnancy. Although many moms of multiples do experience more frequent or earlier fetal movement, there is considerable disagreement among medical professionals on the subject. For some women, recognizable feelings of movement occur earlier in subsequent pregnancies, whether there is one baby or more.

Extreme Fatigue

This is the most commonly reported complaint during pregnancy with multiples. Sleepiness, lethargy and exhaustion during the first trimester can be enhanced because the body is working overtime to nurture more than one baby. In some cases, the fatigue can be attributed to other factors (work, stress, poor nutrition, having other children), but it can also be an indication of multiples.

History/Hunches

While the other items in this list refer to some kind of visible evidence -- exaggerated symptoms, abnormal test results, etc. -- we can't disregard the power of a mother's intuition. A family history of multiples, or a powerful hunch can be convincing indicators. Follow up with your doctor about these feelings.

People Ask

She asked, I answered - Yes, we have been trying for two years.

Two years. Why do we not try harder. get more answers get more help........cuz if its meant to be it will happen. Of course that got me thinking again about my life. Our life together........how totally screwed would we be if we were pregnant right now. How selfish would it be for us to decide to have a baby and bring it into this mess of a life we have going on. Cripes!

Although I truly want one, a bad decision it would be to purposely push to get one........

I am already a mess, what with the non-working and injury and all. Could you imagine trying to carry a pregnancy?!!! Holy Carp!

Bad. Bad. Bad.

so back to school I go! I hope EI will help train me for what I am looking at doing!

Blog ON

babies

I wish i were pregnant..........

maybe once he moves in we will be able to 'do it' more regular. I know I don't ovulate all the time, and my period, that was once as regular as Old Faithful, is just not anymore. but once he is here......maybe one of these times it will come together. We can't be THAT follicley challenged?

its just one of those days. Dreaming. Wishing. Hoping.

Everything happens for a reason. and If its not meant to be......well its just not. We have NOWHERE to put a Baby anyhow. So silly for me to think about wanting one.........SO illogical. Really irresponsible and definitely selfish........

but i still do

Blog On

..........

Holy Cramps Batman!!!

its gonna be one of those is it.......

a week late. Painful. and Messy. Nice. just hope it doens't hang around longer than its supposed to and wear out its welcome.

Here's my Research

"............Bone resorption is decreased by estrogen. Bone is constantly being broken down and replaced. Estrogen is needed to maintain a proper rate of bone breakdown.

The vagina and female bladder‘s proper function are maintained under the influence of estrogen. Estrogen keeps the vagina moist and prevents the bladder from leaking urine............."

Ahhh - HAAAAA!

Ummm - What the &#%$#@!!!

am I seriously leaking URINE???

Holy Hormone Crap Batman!

that just didn't happen. I must be mistaking it. I'm holding everyhting in.....my ab muscles are amazing....Kegels Every time I do do #1 ............... I DON"T EVEN HAVE TO GO!!!!

some research is needed into this......

Oh period ............... where are you ..................

I'm sure it will come now.

Now that it knows I am seeking it ............... it'll come out of hiding

SHE DID SHE DID SHE DID GET IT!!!!

i just don't even know what to say......my mind is racing.......that fucking shot has Thermesol ( something something) in it. Does she even know wht that does? yet she is afraid to eat Tuna.....I am going to be a bitch. I am so setting that up! Here have some tuna - and whe she says no cuz' she;s pregnant..........

lets just hope it doesn't turn out that way. that in 2 and a half years from now we are not looking at her kids ............yah

I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

my mom.....oh its so miniscule Kristi! really....ok....perhaps she should just hae a rye and 7 then too.

STupid. Stupid Stupid

Have i Asked?

No I have not.

I don't want to know.

has my Sister had a pig shot?

I don't know, but I know she went for another ultrasound today and took my mom

Insert Foot Here

I emailed my Sister-in-law today to ask how her fetus was doing. She mailed me back and said she didn't have one I must be thinking of someone else. Umm okay i thought. Maybe I really was mistaken......

my brother Texted me a couple hours later - didn't he tell me she lost that baby too?

NO!!!

I guess she lost it just before Thanksgiving.

Shit! i am a knob. Guess i didn't have minutes on my phone during the time he let us know so I never got the message.........

..........

Sister Is having BOYS!!!

2 of them!

.......

It made me Giggle

had to have an X-Ray on WEdnesday. It was a really bad leg day. Raced in to my doc's office. Cried most of the morning from pain and cried there cuz it hurt to drive......anyhow, he sent me for X-rays. Concerned of course about me being pregnant - of course I'm not, but he is worried about radiation for the eggs I have left. Now watch I'll get knocked up and have a kid with an arm coming out of its stomach. ACK!

anyhow - I had to giggle cuz I had just started my period that morning, thus knowing in concrete I really was not pregnant.

The technician asked me too if I was pregnant.

Nope. Really, really not.

He came back after taking pictures of my bones - do I have a piercing in my belly button? Yah. He's was ok with that. It showed up on the x-ray.

I guess my tampon did too!

Nope. Really NOT pregnant.

sisters Belly

my poor Sister.

for as Much as I don'[t agree with some of the things she is doing during her pregnancy, I do feel for her. She is only 4/5 months along, but as big as she would be at 8 with a single pregnancy. Poor girl. How uncomfortable she must be.

So with all the hub-bub she created with trying to find out what the nuggets are......she still hasn't found out any fersures.

Her last months are gonna suck. i think from Christmas on, she may just be bed ridden. My poor humongous Sister.

we are still fetus deficient here. Been doing it during ovulation. He's geting a bit better about listening to me about when we are doing it and when we are not. So hopefully sooner than later we will be able to coincide all the ingredients at the same time and get it right! Especially now that he has been staying here so much more. Makes for a better controlled baby making atmosphere. Then if it happens, Great! but if not.......its not meant to be.

Blog On!

I guess I just don't Understand this

Me - when is your due date again?

Sister - Feb 24 technically but my doctor said she will only let me go to 38 weeks if I can get that far....so Feb 10th i guess

Its your body Sister.

Your babies. Not the doctors. Maybe the doctor has vacation plans.....and I guess if you feel confidant and safe, than great. Its not my pregnancy.

if it were!

that doctor would have fired me by now!

Pregnancy

The experience Every woman experiences during pregnancy is different. How we treat it, how we feel, the choices we make......

some of us know things others don't about the procedures our trusted doctors are putting us through.

but being pregnant is the same

If the doctor wanted you to go for an amnio would you?

for ANOTHER ultrasound?

An internal?

An X-Ray? Here take this its ok?

It's time to induce you?

Let's schedule a C-section?

Where do you draw the line? How much do you trust?

DO YOUR RESEARCH!

Seriously Sister. You don't need an ultasound every 3 weeks! You really, really don't! Those are sound waves bouncing off your Fetuses.

they are NOT harmless!

UGH!

Trying Again

Such good news!

if you recall, my brother and his wife had a miscarriage earlier this year.

I jsut got word from him that she is knocked up again.  She is JUST pregnant.  That would put her due in July.  Thats when I was hoping for this last month - but of course wake this AM with my period.

so i am happy for them.

Mountain and I talked about the baby thing for us just the other night.  Sometimes i just don't know.  Guess I said a lot that put it on him.  And yah, thats how I feel now.  He got upset.  Not mad or fighty or anything, just kinda wondering why I am making it all about him?  Well, i said......cuz it is.  untill you go and get that other test done, its about you.  You claim to only have one working nut, yet havne't gone to the doctor about it.  We already know you have a low sperm count, yet you won't stop having your 'personal' time and then we 'do it' when i am ovulating, but might as well just be shooting water up there.  so Yah i put it on you.  

i am ovulating.  i have been charting.  I've gone for the invasive ultra-sound.  i've gone for blood work.  I am taking folic acid and lecithin and......

Yah i am putting it on you.  What have you done?

and then i reminded him that I turn 40 in 5 weeks.  They won't help us.  It was like the first time he'd ever heard it.  YOU WERE SITTING RIGHT THERE WHEN THE DOCTOR TOLD US!  Anyhow.........my Bobo is expecting.  My Sister is expecting and its a good thing i am not.  Cuz I am not working.  We don't have room in this house.  Blessings come in all kinds of ways.

Blog On!

So No Baby Then

as the PMS heats up and I notice every little messy thing in my house I think about the 'giving up' that I've done on the baby thing.

I am angry more than anything.

I

m angry about a  few things.

Firstly cause this is it.  I mean.  Obviously Mountain can't get me pregnant.  I am ovulating.  All the charts, pee'd on sticks, temp checks and doctor say so.  His sperm count is low.  and He has procrastinated himself up the ass about going and getting the second test we need to make it fersure to get to the next level.  

I was going to push to get to some kind of next level on my own, but that is dumb.

i am Not working.  Before when I was working  we could have done it.

We would have had to sell and buy.  It could have worked.  By the skin of our teeth, but it could have worked.  Now?  forget it.  We could Never get approved for a bigger mortgage now and we certainly couldn't live here with the three of us and possible 3 more!

I am 40 in 6 weeks.  There are so, so many risks at being pregnant.  Not just to the baby, but for myself.

then there's the part of my that believes Sometimes its just not meant to be and there is some unforeseen reason for that.  Tempting fate......I don't know.

There's also the watching and learning I've been doing about mountain and how shitty he is with the discipline of our cat we got.  He is bad.    He is an ungood parent to that cat!  it can only make me think he'd be ungood with our baby.  Inconsistent must be his middle name.

Of course then there's my accident.  The being able to walk thing.  The hip thing.  The leg thing.  More than likely I'd end up bed ridden.  I have a lot of pain and it is NOT going away or fixing itself.  I am doing everything I am supposed to.  2 steps forward 1 step back.  this last one was 2 steps back though and i find it so frustrating.  There is NO was we can afford a baby right now or in the near future, cuz realistically, we don't know when or if I am going to get better.

so here I sit.  Looking at my daughters disgusting room and my house jammed full of stuff and the walls that I can't even get close to to paint.  here I sit, almost grateful that I m not pregnant and marvelling at how quickly things change in a persons life.

We'll just have lots of cats that I will raise.

Blog On!

Blog On!

Whats Going On In There

My Uterus is feeling awfully strange.

Odd stuff leaking out.

What is that all about?

I've given up

I turn 40 in less than 3 months!

its all over then - damn it Mountain!  Get your Fucking shit together!!

Cut Off

We can't 'do it' anymore

I suffer too badly.  No matter what way.  No matter what position.

Doc says the accident affected my pelvic floor.  Thats part of that group of muscles taht was damaged in the accident.

so nothing since the 30th of July.

Fucking Accident!

I Totally Just Ovulated!!!!

2 weeks ago

So I had a day where my boobs started to get a little tender.  I figured the zits were cuz of the chocolate i consumed.  I started to wonder - maybe - 

it would be early to tell but maybe.......what a great thing if i were!  and so scary as i am going through so many other things right now becasuse of the stupid accident.

Nope.  I'm not.  It was my period.

came on just a wee bit yesterday so i thought perhaps i am just spotting those thoughts were gone in a flash this morning.  Full on Period.

Yah thats right I only just had it!  July 9th!  Seemed normal enough.  Maybe its the Lecithin??

I've started to really push Mountain hard about getting that test done!  GO! GO! GO!  I realize my accident has kinda thrown a curve and he has been trying to help me a lot through this.  But we need to keep on task as far as this goes.  i have afternoon time now if i need to get more testing done.  I don't have to take time off work.  and i don't go for more testing till he completes this vital first step!

Maybe I'll push the Doc to get me into the lab or wherever regardless.

40 is only 3 1/2 months away!

sex - when?

sex is almost non existant now.  and when it does happen I end up achy after.

Stupid Accident!  I can have a virtual garden, but I don't think I can have a virtual baby!

and It Happened...

Look at that.  No sonner did i bitch about it and BAM!  I wake this morning with yucky cramps (somehting I don't often get anymore) and drip, blood, mess down my leg as I scurry to the bathroom.  I love being a girl.

so does that mean what happend on Saturday is what used to happen awhile ago.  a 'spot' and then 5 or so days later my period?  thats ok.  I just like to know is all.  Then that would make me on a 33 day cycle this month?  Okay then.  Just like to know these things.

Now watvh I talked about it so it will go away again.

I am also back on the Lecithin.  Have been for a couple days.  I bet that has everything to do with this morning....

Blog On!

Boobs

Again with the sore boobs.  Waht The Hell!  a couple hours of bleeding and now......

I feel all bloated too and I want chocolate and breaded things.  This is goofy.

My last period was June 6th and that was after I'd had it a couple weeks before that and....So I guess I know what to look forward to.  Yippee!

Mountain and i talked last night about him and the part where its up to him to get his stuff taken care of cause Doc won't do anything for me or to me till he rules him out.  I also told him that at this point nothing happening is falling on his shoulders.  There is nothing more right now that I can do.  Except live in the body that is aging rapidly.

i want a face-lift.  Get rid of my jowels and the lines around my mouth.

Blog On!

Here Today - Gone Tomorrow

Gotta love the period that come on real good...........for half a day and then dwindles off to NOTHING!

Saturday was the day.  July 4 I was happy it came.  Happy it was here after that stupid hot flash i'd had.......now it is gone.

*sigh*

so Monotonous

So we had some sex.

it was good.  I rather enjoyed it!

ached afterward, but i guess thats jsut what happens with an injured back.

I ovulated.  So I got on it Right away!  hehe

however, good thing I enjoyed it cuz I think thats probably all I'm gonna get.

The "O"

not the end of the world.  but I can have those alone, a Baby with the man I love?  Not so much an alone type endeavor 

Blog On  

HOT?

did i just have a hot flash?

What the Hell.  I hate my body!

I'm not going to get pregnant.  I have to start coming to terms with that.  and I am not liking it at all.  He can't get me knocked up and he doens't seem to be doing anything about  it!  WE DON"T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!

As soon as my period stops - thats it.  No more chances!  You only get 12 periods a year.  And you don't ovulate Every time.  I wish he would go get that test re-fucking-done!  and for me - i may only be ovulating less than that even!

I love that my Sister is pregnant.  and I am not jealous.  I am so very excited and happy for her!

I am jealous of the part where she is only 3 weeks along and is tired, cuz thats what happens, and she is talking about shortening her hours.........

Mountain saying that when (hahaha when) we get pregnant, I will have options this time too.  Whatever.  We fucked yesterday.  He hadn't relieved himself all weekend cause we were camping, so i would suppose I got a good dose.  layed with my feet in the air for a half hour, my back aching and hurting,  not even knowing if I was even close to ovulation.........I didn't take my thermometer with me.......and I am so irregular these days you can't just rely on the calendar.  And as I was laying there I thought about how this is so stupid and all in vain.  I am not going to get pregnant again.  Not by this man anyhow!

my eggs are picking and choosing their times to come out and play and his boys are swimming in circles or just not there!

yah - i think it was a hot flash

 I'm disapointed

Old and broken and broken

4 days Early

SHE COULDN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.

THURSDAY WAS JUST TOOOO FAR AWAY.

IT WAS POSITIVE!!!  

SISTER IS KNOCKED UP!

YaY!!!

Pissed Off

so Not only do I have to deal with my stupid accident pain STILL!!!!  I have to deal with a full on messy period too!  I am sooo pissed off.

Mountain doesn't seem to be wanting to try.  I don't know.

Sister is still waiting.  She has 8 more days and she feels like a HUGE pile of swollen flesh.  She has to shove progestrone supositories up her HooHa! 

I am really not happy 

I hate my body right now!

sore boobies since my period began and ended a couple weeks ago.  Getting more tender as the days went on.  Spotting.  Now BAM!!  bleeding - AGAIN!  bleeding.  Not just a wee pinkish hue......Red!  Blood Red!  Its not a lot buts its still there and its only just began this morning.  So we'll see as the day progresses what takes place.  I am tired and bloated.  thiught it was from the allergies.  Could still be part of it - but still.  SUCK!!  

Sister had the Turkey baster Thursday.

Lets hope that one of the 2 eggs or both get got.  she is on different hormones now and tired.  Soo very tired.  Poor Sister to have to go thru this.  So we wil know in 2 weeks if I am going to be an Auntie or not!

Fingers and toes crossed!

Blog On Dudes

update

Well, my boobs are almost hurting.  Right now they ache and are big.  

Hormones.  wee bit of spotting yesterday and then it was gone.  Zits?  What the Fuck!  No i don't think i am pregnant.  and Yes the thought has crossed my mind.  Its just hormones.  Then again it doesn't hurt to check........  I only just finished my period last week!  so the timing would be all screwy.  but you never know.........

My Sister has 2 eggs.  She's got one more shot and then goes in on Thursday for the sperm injection!  Keeping our fingers crossed that it takes the first time.  Going thru the hormone injections is mind twisting.  She is just a bundle of emotions and feels like duty.

Blog On!

Low Sperm Count

Low sperm count can't be easy for any guy to hear I am sure.

He talked alst night about the vein that he beleives to be a vericose in his left nut.  He wondered why we are bothering to do this.  He was angry.  Not at me but at his parents.  He is worried that this is the sign of something more down there in his nether regions.

I understand.  Being broken, especially down there,  its sooo personal.  Its soooo,well for him emasculating.  Here I've been losing my womanhood for awhile and been going thru the emotions and stuff.  He just found out!  Its going to be a big hit.

and While we were there talking to Richard, he still believes I am fine.  I have period issues, that is true.  But he seems to think I'm not so much the problem.    However - him way more than me.  Doc's exact words "you're shooting blanks"  

That can't be great to hear either.

so that makes me think back to that bitch Leah.  It wasn't his baby.  I wonder how long it will take him to realize that and come to terms with it.  Now I really don't want that kid at my house ever!

Blog On

ITS NOT ME ITS YOU

Well the tables turned rather quickly.

its him.  he is shooting blanks.  Well below on everything.

Now taking into consideration - his "sample" was processed 17 min.  late and that he didn't make it a full 2 days..........

Still says we havne't been working with a full load.  No Wonder I am not knocked up!

Even if we were having more sex that wouldn't make the odds better.  It makes them worse.

So Richard is sending him for another test.  he plans to go the 7 days.  And we'll see if he passes.

With the results he got under the circumstances does not look good.  Even if he goes 7 days......I don't think the results are going to be much better.  and if we've been fucking under the other circumstances......there is NO WAY i could have gotten pregnant.

i am so glad that finally,  FINALLY he is feeling what I've been feeling for the past year!  The Finger is being Pointed!  Pointed! Pointed!  and finally its not at me!

I have lots floating in my head right now.

Blog On!

Sperm

so today is the day.

We have a 4:30 appointment with my doc to find out what is happening with Mountains sperm if anything at all.  He is REALLY nervous.  I am sort-of nervous.  It sucks cuz this is the finger pointing day.  The lay blame day.  Even though we don't want to, we will.  I know I will, even if the finger is pointed right in my face!

I will ask about my back while I am there.  Gotta double up these appointments.

and I am still trickling with my period.  Frig!  no wonder the sore nipples.  I guess its going to be one of those months.

Blog ON!

36.8

Yah, I am charting still or again.

Period came and went?  gone in 3 days?  What the Hell.  it seemed ok.  but my boobs are still tender and my nipples hurt so I really don't think it was as normal as it wanted to appear to be.  Sneaky buggar!

we go Tomorrow to find of the results or Mountains sperm test. I'm sure he's fine and its me.

till tomorrow Dudes!

Blog ON!

I GOT IT!!!!

The Doctor CAlled......

the doctors office called and left a message on my machine......

I'll have to call them back on Monday.

Doc wants to see me!

Guess he got the results from the test..........

YAY!!!

I'm zitting up like i did a few weeks ago!

maybe my period is coming........

what a funny thing to celebrate

Oh Yes and Mountain took in his sample today!!!  Yay!

Blog On Dudes!

Long Cycle? or Stress?

So the longest cycel so far that I ahve found in the last 6 months was back in February.

34 days between.

No I am not pregnant.  Checked.

I see my doc today to talk about my accident.

this is currently day 38.

doesn't matter as it hurts to have sex.  We got so caught up in my accident last week that Mntn forgot to get the lab thing taken care of.  He goes with his "time sensitive" sample tomorrow.  He has to miss time from work.  This sucks.  It all sucks.  One thing though is that if its me and (which i think it is)  just give me the chlomid and be done with it!

I am so emotional.

Blog ON!

maybe I don't have my period cuz of the accident!!!

Fuck.

I am stressed out!

a moment to feel pity on myself

so its still not here.

so if my period follows suit its doing a 28?  30? day cycle......so

the period

I got hit in the rear end by a van.  My boyfriend and I can not be intimate right now as he is getting ready to give his sample tomorrow, and i owie.  I am sore and I am already mourning my  LATE menstrual cycle.  I am indulging in wine and cheese pleasers.

FUCK IT@!@!!

I hate this.

Where is my period!

so much for the nice normal ones I've been so glad about.  Good thing I guess that I enjoyed them when I did!

What if last month was the last one?

Frig.  As long as I am having my period I can get pregnant.  Once i stop.............

FUDGE!  I AM FREAKIN' OUT!  39 and period lacking!??  this sucks Ass!

Where is it .? .

still no period

how do you know when you are late when you are not sure when its coming??

Shit!  

5 day celibacy

So today is day one of no sexual activity for him!

tomorrow is dinner day.  he will be cranky,  but I love that he is doing this.  

and where the Heck is my period?

No I haven't gotten it yet!  its been 30 days.

I stick pee'd last week wasn't it?  Maybe I should stick pee again.

hmmmmm

Blog On!

Lab

He went to the Lab today!

What a good brave secure with himself man!

I love it.

They gave him a brown paper bag, with a jar and some  specific instructions.

his specimen has to be there within 30 min of its deposit.  In full!  Most important that the  very beginning to the very end gets in there.  It says so in the pamphlet!  He has to call a number and let them know he has a time sensitive specimen on its way just before he show up with it.

he Can't beat off or have sex for a minimum of 2 days before he deposits.

this is going to be the hard part.  Poor guy.  but he'll do it and more importantly he wants to!  So now we get thru the weekend and then.........

Blog On

Floating Thoughts can be Dangerous

So here's a thing -

I have been full on pregnant twice and had one suspected fersure miscarriage.  So proven through history......I can get pregnant.  3 times as it looks!  

I don't know how much I beleive what the doctor said that I am ovulating.  i want to believe him, but........I just don't think I am all that often.  but that aside........I have a man that has no babies and one suspected pregnancy in his past that I still beleive, given the bitchs history, she cheated and thats how she got knocked up.  I am not sold on that one.

anyhow, he is going to do his first lab step tomorrow and gather his information.  than hopefully Friday get his 'sample' in and then we will have soem more answers.

I just want to go for tests .  Isn't there some kind of blood test to see if I am ovulating or not?  There must be.  There's gotta be some kind of hormone somehitng to see if I have hormones! and what they are all doing.

My thyroid test came back normal - Damn it!  My doctor apologized too.

Ok.  I must relax.  I'll have answers soon.  

Sister starts her hormone shoot up on the 20th.

I have still not gotten my period this month.  Cycle running 26 days so far......

I'll probably get it this weekend.  Mothers day.  Great!  I am working all weekend too.  Suck!

Conclusion being - I HAVE NONE AND THATS WHY I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!

Blog On Dudes!

documenting 137lbs

lets see where I can get this Tummy to in the next few weeks

if I can shed 10lbs i should be able to still work with what I got.  Its just covered with 3 inches of 2 1/2yrs of badness.

and this is what I concentrate on instead of how I wish this looked.

Round with Baby Bump!

Ugh!  the pear shape.  look at that top photo.  that was a pretty straight on shot,  rather than the creative 'top views'  I hate the lack of shape where the hell are my Abs crap!

Its gonna take a lot of crunches to get my center line back

Stciks

I'm not altogether sure why I do such things to myself.  I tried a stick pee this morning, jsut to see.........

nothing

its ok.  I wasn't really expecting anything anyhow, but still.  it was my moment to dream

I will just keep my brain focused on staying dry and excercising and fences to build and house stuff and.......

Blog On

This is Wierd......

its an Observation and its Wierd

boy me Pee is yellow these days

Yipee

so Doc figures that YES I have been ovulating!

so now......we have to have more sex.  We don't have it when we are supposed to.  I guess only weekends isn't good enough.  

He wrote up a lab thing so that Mntn can go get a sperm count done.

than we will have a few more answers.

after that the Tube dying for me will occur.  If i can get in......but Doc figures i don't need that.  Afterall I did already have a baby.  so we will see.  That next step might just coincide with me on clomid.  

so off we go then.  Still taking my temp every morning.  by the looks of it i had sex when I "ovulated" this month so maybe.........

I doubt it.

Blog On!

Sisters

Sister is going on the fertility shoot - up!

next month they will do the in vitro thing!

Yay for them!

so now that she is underway ............. i made an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow.  In i will go armed with my sheets of months of temp charts.......

Blog On

Bitch

36.7 has been my temp for the last few days.  Interesting.  Its a degree lower than 36.8  I am used to seeing staring back at me.

Frig I am a irritable the last 2 days.  Holy Moly.  I mean so much in fact, I don't even like to be near myself right now.  I wake so flippin' randy its not even funny.  Of course by the evening I am so tired i fall asleep on myself!  How much does that suck.

but seriously, its the irritation thats bugging me the most.  Its almost like PMS only a little bit more and its far too early for that!  At least it sure as heck better be!

Now it almost seems like maybe I can feel an ovary bippin' and bubbling.  but I've had that feeling before.  

I just need to get outside and garden.

Gardening is good for the soul and my soul has missed it for the last 6 months.  I guess I just need to feed my addiction, get the dirt under my nails and stain my hands with mud and I bet I'll feel a world of difference in my mood.

Or perhaps, I just need to beat off more  when I'm not so tired I fall asleep on myself!

Blog On!

my wieght my body

somehting I probably shouldn't be concerned about.  and its not even so much that.  Its my shape.  I don't like the sag that has formed around my belly over the last 2 years.

It's something I've never had.  not even after I had kid.  Well no.  I did have it after kid.  That extra - skin.  

probably if I did some  ACTUAL working out,  like with the sweating and heavy breathing,  it would tighten and look better.

my size is not the biggest deal in the world.  I know I am doing just fine.

its my mind that has the problem.

however...that all being said.  I have noticed this wierd shift in the last month as I start to lose the pounds.

middle

my middle is so odd.  am I gunting out?  I don't  know.  with Some creative dress I am okay and no one but me notices.  but its wierd.

and my skin.  its so .................. soft?  lacking elasticity?  ummmmmm its just wierd I jsut want everyone to touch me.  WEll no.  You don't need to touch me.  if you'd have touched my before and then touch me now sorta thing.  It's saggy?  maybe from weight loss?  lack of hormones I need?  Kinda like an old balloon thats started to lose air.  Thats just what it is!  a Balloon.  Hmph.  Do I just need air?

  I had stopped putting lemon in EVERYTHING i drink becasue I read that it doesn't do anything positive for estrogen.  but in this new light.  

I put lemon in my tea today

Blog On

acne

Little pin point zits on my face!

all around my mouth, chin, lips ..............

Hormones?

huge dinner I cooked?

I havne't eaten any candy or chocolate............

I hope its hormones cuase than it means I have some.

Hormones or not, customers get really turned off when they are served food by someone with little white-heads on their face.  Bleck!

Blog-On

Normal periods seem so rare these days.  Its weird to celebrate them!  but this appears so far to being doing what its supposed to.  *whew*

Looking at my girl and loving her I remember growing her and how wonderful it All was.  Nursing for a year, homeade baby food.  It will be nice if I am able to share the experience this time.  Doing it on my own as good cuz I enjoyed it in a way that I don't think I would have if I'd had to share.  And this time (if it happens) it will be nice to have a partner to share all of the amazement of creating a life.  Even to share with C is going to be such a fantastic journey.

Dreams are Nice.  I like to do that once in awhile.

Blog On!

Crystal Balls

I'm Never going to ovulate.

I am still not beveraging.  I am on the Lecithin.  I am excercising.  These are all great things cause I'm getting healthy.   So Yay!  but the ovulation.

Have I been back to my doctor?

No.

Missing work doen't appeal to me.  and I am scared of what he will or won't tell me or do.  I don't want to get all worked up about this and then be in the position of Careful what You Wish for  I am scared.

If its meant to be it will happen.  Yah, what if its him?  then it ain't going to happen.

and then I think about my wedding day.  I don't want to be pregnant.  Or have just had a baby.  and Who knows when my wedding day will be!  At least he was getting his ducks in a row to get me a ring.  But then the tooth thing happened so he HAS to deal with that.  A few thousand dollars later..........Hard for me to drag his mouth around on my hand like that.

The ring is in the near future, this I know.  However, that brings me back to ovulation and, to do or not to do something about it Right Now!

The part where, what if this is my last period? and if I don't do something about it right now I will Never be able to!

Blog On!

Nice furry face!

has it always been like that or am I jsut really aware of it all of a sudden?

a soft fur all along my jawline with some longer ones sticking of the mole.  I feel so sexy

Yikes - tired again

I'm up I'm up!

but so tired.  Passed out but still walking by 8 last night. Gross.

I'm going thru what steph did a few months ago.  Really tired and then Really cold.  Don't like it.  Hormones are having a party.  

My temp was low ysterday.  36.6 - odd.  Today still a bit low but okay at 36.7.  Horny as anything.  So I guess I might ovulate?  Hmmmm

I resided that I want the baby.  However, I want to get married too and I don't want to be a fat, pregnant bride.  Thats not my idea of great.  Even just being Fat.  Really all I want to know at this point is that we still can have children.  I feel myself giving up.  *sigh*

i mean if it all works than it will happen when its supposed to.  I rather enjoy fate.  Its the part where I don't know if we are brokenor not that is makig me crazy these days.

Blog ON!