37.2

up temp.  to be expected.  I was drinking last night.

No bleeding!  how cool.  so funny how all of a sudden its taken for granted.  The no blood that is.  i keep thinking maybe I am actually ovulating.

i don't have a clue.

i'll just keep taking my temp.  Whatever.  If I end up pregnant.....than I guess its just right then isn't it.

It not.  Well.  There is a greater plan out there for me.  I do however intend to keep up on this Estrogen thing.  Being broken and bleeding and tired and.......

well i would just like to not be is all!

i have been looking at pics of myself.  Lots of self talk.  My middle is doing wacked out stuff.  Probably if is had sufficient time i might be able to do somthing about it.  I don't and when i do I am lazy or bleeding too much or......... yah.  Anyhow - the rest of me is managing alright.  My ass is in good shape.  Although I have noticed as of late that my thigh muscles need some deep knee bends.  I am losing muscle.  That bites  Is that part of this?!!  I will research more.  For now......

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Finally

Well it stopped.  Finally after 24 days of bleeding - spotting - bleeding - then spotting again!

so I guess I wait and I'll probably start again in a couple weeks as my body think its supposed to get a period.  

Ya, what fun

36.8 this morning - nice and where it should be  *sigh*

I thought I was done

How is it possible?

I am still spotting.  I guess its better than the full on bloodfest of a week ago.  Found Flax to buy.  Crushed flax is supposed to be good for the Estrogen too.  and i can use flax in Everything I bake.  Even as a substitute for eggs!  How cool is that?!  and I am grateful to not feel as crappy as I have been for the last couple weeks.  *sigh*  It'll get better

and Damn it.  I totally forgot to make an appointment with Richard.

Ok.  Off I go to help C with her science project speech.

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Ahhhh Yes

Feeling better.

Back to spotting and it seems to be FINALLY tapering off.

Started on the Soy a couple days ago.  Its expensive, but if it helps I'll figure a way.  A glass a day, is what I have researched, should be good.  I stopped taking ALL the vitamins I take about 5 weeks ago.  Started back on my Vit. B12's a coupe days ago and that has given me a nice lift as well.  WheW!  So glad to be feeling better.  Now to get this Stupid, Stupid out of off schedule ridiculous amount of blood, bleeding to stop!

Give me my estrogen back to normal and get my uterus knocked up so I can enjoy these changes my body is going through instead of cursing them!

I hate to hate.

I seriously would like to enjoy this.  Its neat how our bodies go through all this stuff.  Amazing actually.  and I would like to experience it all.  But damn it!  I really, really want to do this baby thing.

I hope I can get it together and manage to make at least one more........

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36.9

Back to full on bleeding again

I am so tired.  I had steak strip and work yesterday hoping that would help.  But I don't know.  I just want to crawl back into bed.  Barely made it through yesterday.  I am so glad its my short day today.  I am exhausted.

so even though I would really like to be excercising and getting my body back for my birthday in November I am so tired I can't bring myself to it.  I keep eating probably more than I should just to keep my strength up.  I'm making an appointment today to see Richard next week!

and my temp is finally at a number I am familiar with!

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tired

I am so ridiculously exhausted today.

I tried steak bites at work to keep my energy up.

this continous bleed-out is wiping me out

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16 days and Counting

So here I am.  16 days of bleeding.  Nice.

worked my butt off Friday and I was a mess when I finally got home.  It not nice.  wee bit clotty too.  I'm sure one day it will stop.  Just gotta make sure I'm getting enough Iron.

A little bird told me Soy milk for estrogen so I am going to try it!  Hopefully it at least helps.

my temp sent down to 37 the last couple days, but it shot up this morning to 37.4

why am I sooo extra hot this month?  I've been charting for 3 mnths now and never had temps this high.  How bizaare.   Probably becaseu i am still a bit on the sick side?  just a littel snotty.  I did have wine last night too after work.

Well off I go to get some Grade 5 homework done.

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As the hormones Rev up so does my libido!

its nice to feel 'something'  after going for the last few weeks with littel or no interest.  I'm getting tired of pretending.  Poor guy.  I guess it could be worse for him.  I could be one of those women that always says no.  Instead I say yes. even when I don't want to, but than I get mine cuz I'm still spotting.  

Friggin' Estrogen lacking body of mine.

37 even today.

still really tired

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37.2

still sniffly

back to spotting

tender boobies

Very Tired today!

i am back to Full on Bleeding again!

i am sooo pissed!

did some research the other night.  Estrogen.  My body is giving it up.  So now I will be on the search for replacement.  I'll have to go to the doc. at the end of the month.  After C's project is done.  See if he will finally DO soething or not!

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Hormones

What is it?  

Too much Testosterone?  To Little?

Estrogen?  Is that the one?

Why am I still spotting?  I know its caused by the hormones.  I've been so sick (with a cold) all week I havne't had the gumption to do any research on here to figure it out.

Herbal remedies?

I've been irritable as Hell!  I wanted to kill Mntn all day yesterday.  Everything was dirty.  I could just feel it!  I hate that.  I'm sure it wasn't as bad I "saw" it to be.  Its like PMS only - I should n't have PMS!  I jsut or rather I am still trying to finish my last period!

so I guess no baby this month.

I guess I really need to accept that I'm not going to get one.  I have let down Mntn.  No blood line.  No siblings for 'C'

I feel like crap.

i don't like myself.

My Basal jumped to 37.4 yesterday and was 37.2 today!  Waht the Hell is that.  I don;'t even have those numbers on my chart.  I figure it must be cause my body is fighting the sick.

is it possible I'm ovulating?  and spotting still at the same time?  can that happen?  Well we sexed it up this weekend just in case!  I pretended to be into it.  Not that I didn't honestly try.  I did!  but ......... i dont know.  my drive is gone.

I don't like my body right now.

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Still Spotting!

I AM PISSED!

anyone know of good natural herbal remedies for horomones???

Please Help!

My Body is an Asshole!

this is not fair.  This sucks Rocks.  this is not a normal cycle starting I can just tell.

Dwindle, trickle, foul smelling...what the Fuck!

I am Pissed Off!

the chart

I was looking over my ovulation chart last night.

I am now charting iwth a a new one that just seems clearer to me.

I dont think Ive been ovulating at all.  I am so sad.

its supposed to be a few degrees right?

how many is a few?  are they points of the degree or a full or what?

my period is still trickle trickle trickle just teasing me.

I Hate this!

i wish my doc. would just put me on the fertility drugs and be done with it!

The Trickle

One would think that after being as ??late?? as I was this month I'd be just a mess of blood.  Nope.  Just a trickle.

this better not be one of those ones that goes on and on and on and on for 20+days.  Frig those suck and they are expensive too!  Tampons get expensive when you need a months supply.

I just keep my fingers crossed that this is a normal - somewhat normal, cycle.  If i get knocked up in the next couple weeks a baby would be sharing Charleys.  Could you imagine?  how freaky would that be?

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DAy 2

WEll here I am day 2 of the ???late???? period.

how late was it?  i don't know.  What I do know is that it was 33 days between cycles.  Over the last year i have gone from a 21 day cycle to a 25 back to a 21 up to a 29 flat back to 14days!  somewhere in there Never Stopping now up to 33!

WHAT THE HELL!

now charting my temps each morning to see if I am even ovulating so that we can try to conceive before it is too late and never to happen at all.

Honestly, if I didn't want to use my Uterus again I'd jsut have everything removed like my mom did.  She went thru this in her early 40's and was Uterus free by 42!

I'm of course earlier than her and younger than her to be experiencing this stuff and it sucks ass to not have anyone to talk to.  To not have an undertanding ear.

This Period that was ?late?  has been a bit painful and I was really expecting it to be a disgusting mess given the circumstances.  But i am left with the thoughts 'is this it?'

so i take my temp again and try not to think about the fact that I am not bleeding nearly as much as I guess i thought I would.  Numb my brain from the thoughts that i am not ovulating and I am just fooling myself and wasting my time and.........

well I must go.

I have laundry to finish and family to feed.

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