Shriveled Egg

well, at least there was an egg.
but it was no good.  Far too small for anything.
So we start again -
I am now taking Evening Primrose, vitamin E and a combo of B6/B12 added to Folic Acid to try to combat the hot flashes and the obvious lack of estrogen I appear to be suffering from.  Hopefully that helps for the next round.
I filled out all the paperwork for the claim for the  repronex - so I am hoping to be reimbursed.  So all we are losing is the cash for the ultrasounds - so it is okay.
The Ovary doc is meeting with his Genesis buddies and putting his head together with them to see what more can be done to stimulate my one good ovary.
I had set my personal limit to 2 cycles - but I have been researching deeper - I might just go 3.
So now we wait again.  I flash my way through my days ........not too bad the past couple since I changed over my supplements.

Eggs

Okay - tomorrow is the day I find our if shooting myself with needles has done anything.  Did I produce any eggs?
1 I just need 1

it's kind of a weird feeling.  I want to produce eggs because I'd like the shots to have worked so we can get the invitro, but I also want the satisfaction of feeling like a woman.  If I haven't produced eggs I really think I will feel failed.  I mean that's it then isn't it?
We would try 1 more cycle - that is what we have talked about and agreed on.
however, if I don't bust out any eggs, not even one - pretty sure I will feel like and old woman.
Nearly 43 and being put out to pasture.  If we were on an island, I'd be one of the ones they killed off first!  EArly meno-pause sucks ass.
Please one working ovary, Please, Please pop out a viable egg!

day 4

Yup - day 4.  I woke, my 3rd shot was last night, with a low grade migraine - its dull, but its there.  I know its from the hormones.  Little circles of bruising from where I've injected myself sit along my belt line.  So far no other symptoms to speak of.  I keep wondering, will it work?  What if I don't even produce 1 egg!  What if 4 happen?
I hope our home sells sooner than later.  A mild hot flash ..............

time to shoot.

Menstruation/Hot Flashes/Repronex

Period on Monday.
Bring on the hot flashes Tuesday.
Today was my first shot.

1 down.
4 to go .................... next Thursday we move to level 2.

As I stared at myself in the mirror and thought about my life.  The years ahead, Charlotte growing in to a young woman.  The years that I missed because of various things.  Some brought on by other people, some brought on by myself.  I had to wonder why would I do this to her.  Having a baby is gonna mess her up at this stage of the game.  But I could hear the voice, if I don't I will regret that I didn't try.  So I'm 57 when it is the age Charlotte is now.
I need to sign her up for voice lessons this week.