This is Wierd......

its an Observation and its Wierd

boy me Pee is yellow these days

Yipee

so Doc figures that YES I have been ovulating!

so now......we have to have more sex.  We don't have it when we are supposed to.  I guess only weekends isn't good enough.  

He wrote up a lab thing so that Mntn can go get a sperm count done.

than we will have a few more answers.

after that the Tube dying for me will occur.  If i can get in......but Doc figures i don't need that.  Afterall I did already have a baby.  so we will see.  That next step might just coincide with me on clomid.  

so off we go then.  Still taking my temp every morning.  by the looks of it i had sex when I "ovulated" this month so maybe.........

I doubt it.

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Sisters

Sister is going on the fertility shoot - up!

next month they will do the in vitro thing!

Yay for them!

so now that she is underway ............. i made an appointment to see my doctor tomorrow.  In i will go armed with my sheets of months of temp charts.......

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Bitch

36.7 has been my temp for the last few days.  Interesting.  Its a degree lower than 36.8  I am used to seeing staring back at me.

Frig I am a irritable the last 2 days.  Holy Moly.  I mean so much in fact, I don't even like to be near myself right now.  I wake so flippin' randy its not even funny.  Of course by the evening I am so tired i fall asleep on myself!  How much does that suck.

but seriously, its the irritation thats bugging me the most.  Its almost like PMS only a little bit more and its far too early for that!  At least it sure as heck better be!

Now it almost seems like maybe I can feel an ovary bippin' and bubbling.  but I've had that feeling before.  

I just need to get outside and garden.

Gardening is good for the soul and my soul has missed it for the last 6 months.  I guess I just need to feed my addiction, get the dirt under my nails and stain my hands with mud and I bet I'll feel a world of difference in my mood.

Or perhaps, I just need to beat off more  when I'm not so tired I fall asleep on myself!

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my wieght my body

somehting I probably shouldn't be concerned about.  and its not even so much that.  Its my shape.  I don't like the sag that has formed around my belly over the last 2 years.

It's something I've never had.  not even after I had kid.  Well no.  I did have it after kid.  That extra - skin.  

probably if I did some  ACTUAL working out,  like with the sweating and heavy breathing,  it would tighten and look better.

my size is not the biggest deal in the world.  I know I am doing just fine.

its my mind that has the problem.

however...that all being said.  I have noticed this wierd shift in the last month as I start to lose the pounds.

middle

my middle is so odd.  am I gunting out?  I don't  know.  with Some creative dress I am okay and no one but me notices.  but its wierd.

and my skin.  its so .................. soft?  lacking elasticity?  ummmmmm its just wierd I jsut want everyone to touch me.  WEll no.  You don't need to touch me.  if you'd have touched my before and then touch me now sorta thing.  It's saggy?  maybe from weight loss?  lack of hormones I need?  Kinda like an old balloon thats started to lose air.  Thats just what it is!  a Balloon.  Hmph.  Do I just need air?

  I had stopped putting lemon in EVERYTHING i drink becasue I read that it doesn't do anything positive for estrogen.  but in this new light.  

I put lemon in my tea today

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acne

Little pin point zits on my face!

all around my mouth, chin, lips ..............

Hormones?

huge dinner I cooked?

I havne't eaten any candy or chocolate............

I hope its hormones cuase than it means I have some.

Hormones or not, customers get really turned off when they are served food by someone with little white-heads on their face.  Bleck!

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Normal periods seem so rare these days.  Its weird to celebrate them!  but this appears so far to being doing what its supposed to.  *whew*

Looking at my girl and loving her I remember growing her and how wonderful it All was.  Nursing for a year, homeade baby food.  It will be nice if I am able to share the experience this time.  Doing it on my own as good cuz I enjoyed it in a way that I don't think I would have if I'd had to share.  And this time (if it happens) it will be nice to have a partner to share all of the amazement of creating a life.  Even to share with C is going to be such a fantastic journey.

Dreams are Nice.  I like to do that once in awhile.

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Crystal Balls

I'm Never going to ovulate.

I am still not beveraging.  I am on the Lecithin.  I am excercising.  These are all great things cause I'm getting healthy.   So Yay!  but the ovulation.

Have I been back to my doctor?

No.

Missing work doen't appeal to me.  and I am scared of what he will or won't tell me or do.  I don't want to get all worked up about this and then be in the position of Careful what You Wish for  I am scared.

If its meant to be it will happen.  Yah, what if its him?  then it ain't going to happen.

and then I think about my wedding day.  I don't want to be pregnant.  Or have just had a baby.  and Who knows when my wedding day will be!  At least he was getting his ducks in a row to get me a ring.  But then the tooth thing happened so he HAS to deal with that.  A few thousand dollars later..........Hard for me to drag his mouth around on my hand like that.

The ring is in the near future, this I know.  However, that brings me back to ovulation and, to do or not to do something about it Right Now!

The part where, what if this is my last period? and if I don't do something about it right now I will Never be able to!

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Nice furry face!

has it always been like that or am I jsut really aware of it all of a sudden?

a soft fur all along my jawline with some longer ones sticking of the mole.  I feel so sexy