so Monotonous

So we had some sex.

it was good.  I rather enjoyed it!

ached afterward, but i guess thats jsut what happens with an injured back.

I ovulated.  So I got on it Right away!  hehe

however, good thing I enjoyed it cuz I think thats probably all I'm gonna get.

The "O"

not the end of the world.  but I can have those alone, a Baby with the man I love?  Not so much an alone type endeavor 

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HOT?

did i just have a hot flash?

What the Hell.  I hate my body!

I'm not going to get pregnant.  I have to start coming to terms with that.  and I am not liking it at all.  He can't get me knocked up and he doens't seem to be doing anything about  it!  WE DON"T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!

As soon as my period stops - thats it.  No more chances!  You only get 12 periods a year.  And you don't ovulate Every time.  I wish he would go get that test re-fucking-done!  and for me - i may only be ovulating less than that even!

I love that my Sister is pregnant.  and I am not jealous.  I am so very excited and happy for her!

I am jealous of the part where she is only 3 weeks along and is tired, cuz thats what happens, and she is talking about shortening her hours.........

Mountain saying that when (hahaha when) we get pregnant, I will have options this time too.  Whatever.  We fucked yesterday.  He hadn't relieved himself all weekend cause we were camping, so i would suppose I got a good dose.  layed with my feet in the air for a half hour, my back aching and hurting,  not even knowing if I was even close to ovulation.........I didn't take my thermometer with me.......and I am so irregular these days you can't just rely on the calendar.  And as I was laying there I thought about how this is so stupid and all in vain.  I am not going to get pregnant again.  Not by this man anyhow!

my eggs are picking and choosing their times to come out and play and his boys are swimming in circles or just not there!

yah - i think it was a hot flash

 I'm disapointed

Old and broken and broken

4 days Early

SHE COULDN'T WAIT ANY LONGER.

THURSDAY WAS JUST TOOOO FAR AWAY.

IT WAS POSITIVE!!!  

SISTER IS KNOCKED UP!

YaY!!!

Pissed Off

so Not only do I have to deal with my stupid accident pain STILL!!!!  I have to deal with a full on messy period too!  I am sooo pissed off.

Mountain doesn't seem to be wanting to try.  I don't know.

Sister is still waiting.  She has 8 more days and she feels like a HUGE pile of swollen flesh.  She has to shove progestrone supositories up her HooHa! 

I am really not happy 

I hate my body right now!

sore boobies since my period began and ended a couple weeks ago.  Getting more tender as the days went on.  Spotting.  Now BAM!!  bleeding - AGAIN!  bleeding.  Not just a wee pinkish hue......Red!  Blood Red!  Its not a lot buts its still there and its only just began this morning.  So we'll see as the day progresses what takes place.  I am tired and bloated.  thiught it was from the allergies.  Could still be part of it - but still.  SUCK!!  

Sister had the Turkey baster Thursday.

Lets hope that one of the 2 eggs or both get got.  she is on different hormones now and tired.  Soo very tired.  Poor Sister to have to go thru this.  So we wil know in 2 weeks if I am going to be an Auntie or not!

Fingers and toes crossed!

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update

Well, my boobs are almost hurting.  Right now they ache and are big.  

Hormones.  wee bit of spotting yesterday and then it was gone.  Zits?  What the Fuck!  No i don't think i am pregnant.  and Yes the thought has crossed my mind.  Its just hormones.  Then again it doesn't hurt to check........  I only just finished my period last week!  so the timing would be all screwy.  but you never know.........

My Sister has 2 eggs.  She's got one more shot and then goes in on Thursday for the sperm injection!  Keeping our fingers crossed that it takes the first time.  Going thru the hormone injections is mind twisting.  She is just a bundle of emotions and feels like duty.

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Low Sperm Count

Low sperm count can't be easy for any guy to hear I am sure.

He talked alst night about the vein that he beleives to be a vericose in his left nut.  He wondered why we are bothering to do this.  He was angry.  Not at me but at his parents.  He is worried that this is the sign of something more down there in his nether regions.

I understand.  Being broken, especially down there,  its sooo personal.  Its soooo,well for him emasculating.  Here I've been losing my womanhood for awhile and been going thru the emotions and stuff.  He just found out!  Its going to be a big hit.

and While we were there talking to Richard, he still believes I am fine.  I have period issues, that is true.  But he seems to think I'm not so much the problem.    However - him way more than me.  Doc's exact words "you're shooting blanks"  

That can't be great to hear either.

so that makes me think back to that bitch Leah.  It wasn't his baby.  I wonder how long it will take him to realize that and come to terms with it.  Now I really don't want that kid at my house ever!

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