Monday, June 22, 2009

HOT?

did i just have a hot flash?

What the Hell.  I hate my body!

I'm not going to get pregnant.  I have to start coming to terms with that.  and I am not liking it at all.  He can't get me knocked up and he doens't seem to be doing anything about  it!  WE DON"T HAVE ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD!
As soon as my period stops - thats it.  No more chances!  You only get 12 periods a year.  And you don't ovulate Every time.  I wish he would go get that test re-fucking-done!  and for me - i may only be ovulating less than that even!
I love that my Sister is pregnant.  and I am not jealous.  I am so very excited and happy for her!
I am jealous of the part where she is only 3 weeks along and is tired, cuz thats what happens, and she is talking about shortening her hours.........
Mountain saying that when (hahaha when) we get pregnant, I will have options this time too.  Whatever.  We fucked yesterday.  He hadn't relieved himself all weekend cause we were camping, so i would suppose I got a good dose.  layed with my feet in the air for a half hour, my back aching and hurting,  not even knowing if I was even close to ovulation.........I didn't take my thermometer with me.......and I am so irregular these days you can't just rely on the calendar.  And as I was laying there I thought about how this is so stupid and all in vain.  I am not going to get pregnant again.  Not by this man anyhow!
my eggs are picking and choosing their times to come out and play and his boys are swimming in circles or just not there!
yah - i think it was a hot flash

 I'm disapointed

Old and broken and broken

2 comments:

steph said...

Ok.. Maybe I am dumb but don't you ovulate AFTER your period? Like 12 days after?

Kristi Lou said...

yah -
it also depends on how you want to look at it. After period before - its a circle -
but if you are not having periods there is NO chance of ovulation. and if you are irregular.......there is a hard chance figuring out when you are ovulating. And just because you bleed doens't mean you are ovulating either.